I innocently stood in the cough and cold aisle of the Belmont Avenue Giant Eagle reading the different versions of Sudafed, trying to figure out which one would be ideal for my new-found affliction of my nose becoming annoyingly stuffed up at night. I decided that the maximum strength long-lasting whatever was the way to go. Well, this was one of those "you have to purchase this at the pharmacy" products. Fine.

So I take the little place card over to the pharmacy. There were at least TEN people working...and this is just a grocery store pharmacy! There may have been more, but I counted ten. Anyhow, I told Mrs. Maxine Personality that I wanted to purchase these pills. This is where I will give some friendly advice to those of you that have not done this before. Just wait out your symptoms rather than trying to buy this shit at the pharmacy. She had to take down every bit of infomation from my drivers license and the medicine I was buying, and then I had to sign this book that I'm sure promised my first born to the Bayer corporation or something. What a fiasco...made worse by the fact that Maxine P. must have forgotten to take her polite pills this morning. I mean, with that many co-workers to handle everything, how stressful can it be? So then my new best friend offered to ring up all of my items (of which there were 5 including the ultra-precious pills). So I say, gee, that's nice. Well, of course she fucked it up and only rang up one of my margarines when I bought two and had the hardest time figuring out where she went wrong. I didn't bother to say anything, by this point it was more entertaining to watch the action. So she calls one of her dippy co-workers over, they brainstorm to figure out that I was only rang up for one package, and he explains they have to charge me for the other one. I'm like "well, yeah..." So Maxine rings up the other one, totally flustered. I thought she was going to go ape shit and have some kind of spastic attack.

The good news is that I have my Sudafed...currently, my nose is not stuffed up and I'm sure it won't be again until November of 2008, which is when the sacred pills I bought expire.

Then I came home and stabbed myself in the hand with a sharp knife. Not badly, I just feel like more of a stupid fuck.

And that's the way it seems to be.