And now it's time for another dramatic production as presented by The Eastern Ohio Repertory Players!

APRIL
STARRING:
Andrew Z. as The Disgruntled Ohioan
Polly Holliday as The Woman on the Phone


(Curtain sweeps open to reveal The Disgruntled Ohioan sitting at a desk dialing a telephone on an otherwise blank stage)

(Sound of phone ringing)

THE WOMAN ON THE PHONE: (voiceover) Good afternoon, Mother Nature's Palace, this is Mother speaking, how may I help you?

THE DISGRUNTLED OHIOAN: Hi Mother...I was wondering if you could possibly tell me why the weather is still so horrible even though we have reached the middle of April?

THE WOMAN ON THE PHONE: Why of course! It's because I FUCKING HATE YOU...Mwahahahahahahahahahaha (sound of phone being hung up during evil laughter)

(The Disgruntled Ohioan stares blankly at the receiver as a dial tone buzzes in the background)

(Curtain sweeps closed)

THE END